How to achieve your goals by using implementation intentions.

goalImplementation intentions and behavioural follow-through

Like many people (I suspect!) I am sometimes not so good at following though on my goals. Here are a bunch of things which this week I fully intended to do, but failed epically to achieve. Note this is the abridged version – the full list runs to 3 volumes.

  1. Buy light bulbs for the kitchen
  2. Call an old friend I ran into on the train last week (Hello J!)
  3. Lose weight
  4. Write down when my annual leave is on our kitchen calendar
  5. Call a work colleague to discuss a new project
  6. Write up some work related expense forms

For many of these things I actively thought about doing them several times a day (as well as whilst cooking crazily calorie laden food in a near pitch-black kitchen).I’m not alone here – these sort of goals only seem to account for around 30% of the variance in our behaviour. Now, I am a reasonably well motivated guy, so why the apparent multiple lack of follow through? Part of the is probably due to the way I formulate my intentions.

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One Lovely Blog Award

1lovelyblog

I am really touched to say my blog has been nominated for a One Lovely Blog Award by ThugsandRuffians over at the AGreatBigBeautiful blog. A massive thank you for this – it’s a tremendous motivator 🙂 🙂 :-). Do check out AGBB – it’s a super positive, inspiring, honest and at times funny blog about parenting, everyday magic moments and life. I love it. Go and check it out now (then come back and read on).

Back? Ok. There are some strings attached to this award.

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A Big Thank You!

thank youA Big Thank You!

As we come up to the end of the first month of PsychologyItBetter I just wanted to say a big thank you. Since we launched we have had over 350 visitors from all over the world including the UK (where parents are sleepy, and people are taking exams), Canada (where micro-veg is popular, China, Mexico, Russia, India, Greece and many others!

It’s great to hear from you…

If you like something, let me know! I’m really thrilled every time someone leaves a comment or likes a blog entry, so do keep them coming.

…and keep telling others about it!

I’d also really like to thank everyone who has taken a couple of seconds to facebook liked, reposted or retweeted links I have sent out – it’s a little action which gives me a real boost. Please please please keep it up 🙂

Thanks again

Dan

How cavemen, chocolates and a dinner invite nearly destroyed my marriage.

reciprocity

Dinner invites….

It all began with a perfectly ordinary event – my partner, daughters and I were invited around for a late afternoon dinner with some friends one Sunday last month. Usually when you go to someone’s house you bring something – some flowers, something you have made, or a bottle of something (not so much the latter for us now as we are basically drunk all the time in my household). In this instance we’d been quite disorganised and been unable to sort anything out in advance. No problem – we would just pick something up on the way right? Wrong. Just as we were leaving our baby (with impeccable timing) needed a full nappy / outfit change and a comprehensive hosing down(I’ll let you guess why). As a result we arrived at the supermarket at one minute past four, 60 full seconds after it closed, and were barred entry. Even though we knew the people we were seeing (who are super nice squared) would not automatically expect us to bring something we still felt we had a dilemma – walk across town to another shop which may be open, but be quite late (which with kids and eating can be a deal breaker in terms of a pleasant afternoon!) or go empty handed, which felt wrong (or so half of our partnership thought). OK, so it’s a bit of a exaggeration to say my marriage was nearly destroyed by this discussion. But my partner and I did have quite a falling out! In the end we picked something up, were a bit late, and had a fantastic evening. The tension this seemingly minor issue raised did lead me to reflect on why the drive to bring something when we go to someone’s house to eat is so strong, and what psychology has to say about it.

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PsychologyItBetter How To: Meditation.

PsychologyItBetter How To: Meditation.

Meditation

Meditation is not complicated.

Why should I do this?

Psychological research shows us that meditation can increase your immune function and health, improve levels of happiness and bolster emotional self-regulation. It can also decrease negative emotions and massively reduce stress and anxiety. It can also make you more productive in your day to day lives. It’s not complicated, and it need not have a spiritual component to it. Neither should it take up hours of your day. Even 10 minutes done regularly can have an impact on your life.

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What predicts performance differences in two people with equal aptitude and prep?

What predicts performance differences in two people with equal preparation? Challenge!

Deskman

Tests, performance and stress.

We all face tests in our lifetime. As I write, all across the country people are preparing for, or sitting exams. My own students are no exception – I have 180 undergraduates who are busy revising (I hope) for a exam on social psychology next week. There are a lot of things which predict success in such tasks. Some are out of our immediate control – some people simply have an aptitude for exams and some (like me!) find them more difficult. Other things are more within our control – how much you engaged with the course when it was presented, how much extra reading you did and how thorough your revision was. But what predicts the differences between two people of equal aptitude, who have prepared similarly? The ‘edge’ the stronger person have may be less to do with how much they know or how skilled they are, and more to do with how they perceive the situation. I understand this via something called the biopsychosocial model of challenge and threat [BPSM][1]

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